It's Your BirthdaySo Let's Get Stoned
by serialkiller13
Summary: This is just a prompted that came to mind: Doom doesn't like celebrating his birthday, after learning He hasn't celebrated his birthday in 14 years, Loki and Harley want to change that and give him a day he'll never forget. Loki, Doom, and Harley centric; Friendship fic, Suicide Squad Verse. Warning: Drug use.


It's Your Birthday…So Let's Get Stoned

**Ok, so in this little fic its Harley, Loki and Doom centric, I got this in my head after I wonder how super villains spend their birthdays, then I thought about Suicide Squad and this happened enjoy.**

***o*O*o***

Suicide Squad was just doing paperwork around their headquarters, their outer operative Victor Von Doom came back from running errands for Barbra Gordon…

"Ok, so I did everything Barbra asked me to do," Doom said grabbing his laptop and various paperwork and stuffed it into his backpack "And I guess I'll see you guys tomorrow."

"Wait, you're coming in tomorrow?" Harley said looking up from her case file.

Doom shrugged and said "Yeah, why wouldn't I come tomorrow?"

"Well, tomorrow yours birthday isn't it?" Harley asked.

"Yes, it is," Doom said.

"So don't you want to take the day off to celebrate it?" Harley said.

"To be honest I don't really like celebrating my birthday," Doom said.

Loki looked up at him and said "Wait you don't like celebrating your birthday?"

"No, not really," Doom said looking for something and finding it near Sapphire.

"I have never met anybody who didn't like celebrating their birthday," Harley said.

"Look I stop celebrating my birthday when I was 14," Doom said "I didn't really care if people wanted to celebrate or not."

"Wait, how old are you going to be this year?" Loki asked.

"This year I'll be 28," Doom said.

"So basically you haven't celebrated your birthday in 14 years!" Harley exclaimed.

"It looks that way," Doom said.

"Ok, you need to do something this year," Loki said.

"I am," Doom said gathering the last of his paperwork.

"Really?" Harley said "Great what?"

"I'm taking the day off so I don't have to hear you two complain about how I spend my birthday," Doom said grabbing his car keys and said "See you guys later." And walked out.

"Ok, we need to do something," Harley said as soon as he left.

"Harley," Sapphire said finally speaking up "Victor obviously doesn't want to celebrate his birthday, why are you pushing it?"

"Because I never wanted to celebrate my birthday because I didn't think anybody cared," Harley said "I think Victor feels the same way and he just doesn't know it."

"Or," Diamond said "He's a grown man who seriously doesn't want to celebrate it."

"Look I know you two want what's best for Victor," Topaz said putting her case file away "But maybe you should just respect his wishes this time."

Loki and Harley smirked and said "You know we can't do that."

"Well, do what you want," Athena said "Good luck."

Loki and Harley packed up early and headed over to Harley's apartment to talk about a plan…

"Ok how about a surprise party," Harley vented.

Loki shook his head and said "No, then he'll definitely be mad and probably never forgive us."

"Ok, your suggestion," Harley said.

"Ok, how about just something personal," Loki said "Just between us friends at his house and if he's up to it dinner."

Harley looked thoughtful for a second and said "Not a bad idea, and I know exactly what we'll do but first we have some online shopping to do."

"For what?" Loki asked sitting up.

"For Victor's birthday gift, duh!" Harley said.

"Great!" Loki said "And I know just what we'll get him."

*o*O*o*

The next day Doom's doorbell rang at the embassy and when he went to answer it, and standing there was Harley with a party hat and a cupcake with a candle in it and said "Hey there's the birthday boy."

Doom leaned on the door frame and said "Harley I'm really not in the mood."

"There is a ton of weed in this," Harley said pointing to the cupcake.

Doom then leaned off the frame and said "Happy birthday to me." And slide up his mask and blow out the candle.

*o*O*o*

_**Later…**_

The two had devoured the cupcake and were stoned out of their minds and were just talking nonsense…

"And so…" Harley said giggling "I tapped him on the shoulder and he looks at me and I then realize it's the wrong guy!"

Doom was just staring at her glassy eye then he started laughing and said "I'm sorry, your head just turned into a taco half-way through the story."

And the two started laughing harder and Harley said "How crazy would that be, Talking Taco, Talking Taco, Talking Taco…Oh shit I'm really high."

The two were laughing again and Harley said "There must have been a cat tranquilizer in there."

"What weed did you use anyway," Doom asked with as much seriousness he could muster.

"Um…" Harley said snapping her fingers and said "The Blue mountain Kush, mix with White Widow and Holland's Hope."

"Shit," Doom said "No wonder I'm high as fuck."

"Yeah I stole that shit from Sapphire," Harley said "She has a Jamaican background, so she has the good shit."

And the two laughed for 5 minutes straight after that and Doom said "You know I seriously didn't think in a million years, I could have best friends like you and Loki and I really love you guys just being there for me."

Harley smiled and said "Thanks the means a lot to me."

"Hell, I don't even mind working with Richards sometimes," Doom said, then said "Whoooooa, I must be higher than I thought."

Harley giggled like a mad woman and said "You know ever since my old life in Gotham, I've never really had family or even a person who cared about me, and you and Loki are really my family, Victor…I love you."

Doom was staring at her the whole time and said "You're a sentimental little taco aren't you."

And the two started laughing all over again.

*o*O*o*

_**Much later….Again…**_

Harley had gotten a hard shelled Taco from Doom's kitchen and was pretending to talk through it….

"Hola Victor," Harley said and Doom was silently laugh "Happy birthday amigo!"

"Ok," Doom said still shaking with laughter "Stop it, your freaking my out right now."

"Well, I'm too stoned to drive I'm going to call a cab," Harley said about to tap something on her phone but stopped half way and said "I think I'm too stoned to call a cab."

Doom laughed and said "What about your car?"

"Just drive it to my house tomorrow," Harley said putting her phone away.

Doom looked at her incredulously and said "I don't know how to drive that thing."

"Aww, c'mon I'll show you," Harley said standing up, the she looked around and said "Ok help me out here…where's your door?"

Doom laugh a spun her around towards the door as she lead the way out. As She lead him into the drive way were Loki was waiting with Doom's birthday present and when Doom saw what was in his driveway he was visible surprised…

"Surprise!" Both Loki and Harley shout "Happy Birthday!"

"Lord have mercy tell me I'm not dreaming," Doom said blinking.

"Nope," Loki said "We brought you your dream car."

Doom looked at the 2013 Black Mustang GT sitting in his driveway and hugged both Loki and Harley and said "I love you two crazy bitches."

Loki then handed him his new car keys and said "We knew it was your dream car, so we hacked in to Tony's financials and brought you the car."

"Dreams do come true," Doom said admiring his car.

"Oh we just have one condition," Harley said.

"Yeah, you wanna do in the house or on the hood of the car you two?" Doom asked.

The pair laughed and said "No, not that, you can't tell Tony."

"Done," Doom said.

"Also we're taking you to dinner," Harley said.

Doom looked at her and said "You and I both know we are too stoned to go anywhere without getting caught."

"So can we order KFC?" Loki asked.

"Sure, after all it's my birthday," Doom said.

*o*O*o*

_**The Next Day…**_

Doom was a little more upbeat than usual and Sapphire said "Ok, so how did you spend your birthday?"

"Well, let's see…" Doom said "Harley baked me a pot cupcake in which we ate and was stoned for hours, I pretended she was a talking taco, Loki and Harley got me the awesomest birthday gift known to man, and then we had KFC."

Sapphire blinked then slowly smiled and said "Well, I hope it's not too late to give you this." And Sapphire handed him a box with a green bow on it and she said "Even though you don't like celebrating your birthday my sisters and cousin got you a little something."

Doom opened it to reveal a picture frame with him and Suicide Squad in a general sense smiling together…

"Hey I remember this," Doom said looking at the picture "This is from the New Year's Eve party at your house."

Sapphire smiled and nodded and said "Read the engraving."

Doom looked at the bottom and saw an engraving that said _'Welcome to family Victor.'_

Sapphire looked at him and said "Your family now Victor, so Happy belated birthday."

"Thanks Sapphire," Doom said "This means a lot to me."

Sapphire smiled then said "Also did Harley and Loki happen to buy you a mustang?"

"How did you guess?" Doom asked.

"It's kind of hard not to notice your new car," Sapphire said walking away.

*o*O*o*

_**At Stark Tower…**_

"Hey somebody hacked into my financials!" Tony exclaimed.

Suicide Squad was there with the Fantastic Four just watching a movie and Bruce said "Tony what are you going on about? "

"Somebody hacked into my bank account a bought a sweet mustang," Tony said.

Loki and Harley smirked at each other and fist bumped when Doom said "You will not believe what Loki and Harley got me for my birthday."

Long story short, Loki and Harley didn't have to pay Tony back but Tony was still pissed in the end.

*o*O*o*

**The End! Review!**

**Luv,**

**Serialkiller13**


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